ADHD/ADD, Money and Learned Helplessness
Ever heard of “learned helplessness?” The main idea of “#learnedhelplessness” (identified by Drs. Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier in the 1960s) is that through events and or circumstances that feel out of control, a person learns to give up looking for solutions and slumps into a passivity of repeating the very behavior that discourages and hurts them.
For instance, a husband with ADHD/ADD is easily distracted. When his wife tells him something important he only hears some of what she says. His mind is wandering through his inner rolodex of random associations.
She gets frustrated and disappointed that he doesn’t seem to take her communication seriously. If this dynamic happens often enough, the wife will give up trying to convey her thoughts because she assumes her husband isn’t listening. He, in turn, may feel that his wife has lost interest in him because she is not talking to him the way she used to. Distance grows and each feels helpless to figure a way out to change the interaction.
The phenomenon of “learned helplessness” was discovered in the 1960s when Drs. Seligman and Maier placed two dogs in a big box that contained two chambers separated by a low barrier. The floor was electrified on one side, and not on the other. The dog who had previously been shocked made no attempt to escape the shock, even though the he could avoid the shock by simply jumping over a low barrier. “Learned helplessness” possessed and controlled the previously shocked dog. He stopped trying to avoid the shock and behaved as if he were utterly helpless to change the situation. Even when opportunities to escape were possible, no attempt was made.
“Learned helplessness” can affect our relationship to money. The January 24th @WSJ, The Financial Problems in Your Head by VeronicaDagher talks about self-sabotaging beliefs that are learned in childhood but unconsciously affect your adult money behavior. Examples are, “I grew up poor. I will die poor,” “The Universe will provide,” or “I’m no good at math so I can’t handle money.”
For example, Sue struggled with math as a child. Her older brother was a whiz and used to tease her about being slow. She married a “math whiz” who inadvertently made her feel her old childhood math failures by doing math in his head and loving to solve math problems. When her husband suddenly died, she was faced with having to manage the family finances. She kept avoiding it. When the bills piled high on her desk she finally sought the help of a #financial therapist. With the help of counseling she became aware of her own “learned helplessness” tendencies.
This new awareness made it possible for her to break the passive, avoidant cycle she was in. She learned to reach out, ask for help from family and friends and developed the courage to face her math block and work through it.
Take home “fix it” suggestions:
- Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. If something doesn’t feel right, that is a red flag to pause, pay attention and challenge yourself to tune in to the truth of what you are experiencing.
- If you suspect you are the distractible type and have a hard time focusing on what you want to focus on, you may have ADHD (the hyperactive type) or ADD (the inattentive type). Do a Google search for a trained ADHD/ADD expert in your area.
- Share your pain. Many people feel shame when they feel helpless and out of control, be it money, food or alcohol. Talk to a trusted friend to get support, advice and a different perspective.
- Remember, no matter what, your main goal is optimal self-care!
The Discovery of Learned Helplessness
The concept of learned helplessness was discovered accidentally by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier. They had initially observed helpless behavior in dogs that were classically conditioned to expect an electrical shock after hearing a tone. Later,
In order to investigate this phenomenon, the researchers then devised another experiment. In group one, the dogs were strapped into harnesses for a period of time and then released. The dogs in the second group were placed in the same harnesses, but were subjected to electrical shocks that could be avoided by pressing a panel with their noses. The third group received the same shocks as those in group two, except that those in this group were not able to control the duration of the shock. For those dogs in the third group, the shocks seemed to be completely random and outside of their control.
Later, the dogs were placed in a shuttlebox. Dogs from the first and second group quickly learned that jumping the barrier eliminated the shock. Those from the third group, however, made no attempts to get away from the shocks. Due to their previous experience, they had developed a cognitive expectation that nothing they did would prevent or eliminate the shocks. (Seligman & Maier, 1967).
Learned Helpless in People
The impact of learned helplessness has been demonstrated in a number of different animal species, but its effects can also be seen in people. Consider one often-used example: A child who performs poorly on math tests and assignments will quickly begin to feel that nothing he does will have any effect on his math performance. When later faced with any type of math-related task, he may experience a sense of helplessness.
Learned helplessness has also been associated with several different psychological disorders. Depression, anxiety, phobias, shyness and loneliness can all be exacerbated by learned helplessness. For example, a woman who feels shy in social situations may eventually begin to feel that there is nothing she can do to overcome her symptoms. This sense that her symptoms are out of her direct control may lead her to stop trying to engage herself in social situations, thus making her shyness even more pronounced.
Maggie Baker, Ph. D.
Psychologist – Financial Therapist
Author of Crazy About Money: “How Emotions Confuse Our Money Choices And What To Do About It”.