THE ENERGY OF MONEY
Don’t Waste It On Catastrophic “Turtle Thinking”.
Money’s energy is its ability to meet basic survival needs like food, rent, clothes and medicine. During regular times the majority of us can put food on the table, a roof over our heads and clothes on our back.
What about extraordinary times like these, the era of COVID-19, when many can’t work, can’t pay rent, barely put food on the table and have to forsake medicine? The sudden and short fall into negative balances is beyond the fear of a catastrophic extreme – for some it IS the catastrophic extreme.
Those of us who are surviving tolerably can be left fearful that a financial catastrophic extreme will happen to us as well, as if it is as catching as COVID-19. With the anxiety that may come from such fear, our thinking can become irrational and lead us to make self-sabotaging financial decisions.
No one knows how long the dangers of COVID-19 will last. Until we have a vaccine?
Until we ALL wear masks, practice social distancing and wash our hands often? Until we have quick, reliable testing and contact tracing in full effect?
This uncertainty affects forward moving planning. Will I get COVID-19 and be sick for weeks or even die? Will my kids be able to go back to a school building? Do I have to quit my job to stay home with the kids if they stay remote? How much money am I losing with the economy in free fall? Plan for retirement?-HA-Not a chance! All the soothing qualities of a well-planned cash flow strategy don’t apply in the midst of chaotic uncertainty. When we get anxious we tend to constrict our thinking and feelings, like a “turtle pulling into its shell.” That constriction may cause us to miss opportunities for creative problem solving. We are then ripe for self-sabotage.
How can we stay out of our protective (but ineffective) “turtle shell” and be open to ideas and possibilities that will promote our financial, physical and emotional health?
Here are some suggestions:
- Learn to pay attention to how you feel. If you deny or suppress sadness, anger and fear you block access to those feeling states. That encourages those feeling states to linger longer. The goal is to experience a range of feelings from joy and excitement to sadness and fear. Once you have acknowledged all your feelings they become more manageable and you are less “the turtle with its head pulled in!”
- Reach out to family, friends and information outlets you trust. Money is a hard subject to share but talking about it helps clarify your financial situation and may give you new ideas. Your sharing may encourage your friends to be more open about their own situation.
- Work to focus on what you have, savor and celebrate it. Balance your joy and moments of satisfaction with negative feeling states.
Above all, remind yourself (put a note on the fridge) that you are not alone, you belong, and that you are doing your best to adapt to a world wide calamity. With your feeling states balanced, your logical mind will be more available to make rational financial choices. Change takes time, so be patient with yourself as you move forward. Practice self-compassion and perform gentle acts of human kindness toward others.
Maggie Baker, Ph. D.
Psychologist – Financial Therapist
Author of Crazy About Money: “How Emotions Confuse Our Money Choices And What To Do About It”.