The “What and Why” of Ethical Wills
Most everyone knows what a will is. All of us die sooner or later. The best way to leave money to your heirs is by writing down in a will (an official document) your wishes as to who you want to leave your money to and in what amounts.
People draw all kinds of conclusions from the will’s contents about how the dead person must have felt about, for instance, his son, for whom he set up a spendthrift trust (a trust that sets conditions for getting the inherited money). This is particularly true if , at the same time, his daughter got the same amount of money outright.
People get impressions and make inferences about the dead person’s values and feelings when they leave money to their heirs. There is no way to find out for sure once the person has passed.
An Ethical Will can help. It is a written statement or video that captures the legacy and values of a person. Its purpose is to pass on wisdom and love to future generations.
According to Wikipedia an Ethical Will is, “Writing [or video] can include family history and cultural and spiritual values; blessings and expressions of love for, pride in, hopes and dreams for children and grandchildren; life-lessons and wisdom of life experience; requests for forgiveness for regretted actions; the rationale for philanthropic and personal financial decisions; stories about the meaningful “stuff” for heirs to receive; clarification about and personalization of advance health directives; and requests for ways to be remembered after death.”
Leaving money is sort of a statement of legacy but it leaves out the personal and intimate voice of the person. An Ethical Will captures the presence, essence and voice of the person and presents what they want family and friends to know and remember about them. It can take the form of a letter and can be just a page, 10 pages or somewhere in between. Or it may be written in pictures or in, for instance, a collage.
Since we are in the digital age, many people choose to make a video. In fact, there are professionals who make a career of creating and editing Legacy Videos for clients. The edited, finished product is usually more polished than a “do-it-yourself” video. However, the video made from your iphone may be just as meaningful, or even more so, to you and your friends and family. Nothing like seeing “rough edges” till the end and beyond!
Many people, including myself, think an Ethical Will is a really good idea. As much as I believe that, I’ve not taken the time make one. Not doing it is understandable because it is done usually in the last third of one’s life. No one likes to think about the end of their life so they don’t do it. An interesting idea might be to do a chapter at the end of each decade starting with the 30s so that by the time you are in your 80s you will have written 5 chapters already.
Maggie Baker, Ph. D.
Psychologist – Financial Therapist
Author of Crazy About Money: “How Emotions Confuse Our Money Choices And What To Do About It”.