Case Study #1

Overcoming Money Shame

I thought I would initiate some discussion around common issues I see in practice through creation of some fictional case studies and I want to know …

Jody loved her job as a high school English teacher. She got to read books she liked and teach curious, motivated students. What Jody was not so engaged with (some people would call this avoidance) as her money.

When a bill came, she’d toss it on a table and convince herself she’d pay it later. But the stacks kept growing until they began to fall over and litter the floor. She’d sweep them up, grab another table and start new piles.

Her behavior contradicts her belief in financial independence and reliability. If she were talking to a financial therapist, the therapist would challenge her to figure out why she is sabotaging her financial well-being. The therapist might ask her to imagine those bill stacks growing and what that makes her feel in her body.  She might say that her stomach gets tight, her shoulders slump down and she feels immobile. These bodily reactions are indicative of shame – that feeling of embarrassment, of feeling bad, unworthy and helpless.

Jody and the therapist would then talk about what got stirred up in her mind and what painful past experiences he’s had involving money. This inquiry would then lead to the source of conflict that makes Jody so money avoidant.

After 10 sessions Jody was able to surface her money conflicts and put into action what she’d learned. Slowly the bill piles shrunk. Since she wasn’t using so much energy to avoid her money conflicts, she had more time for both her work and enjoying her money.

 

What do you think about Jody’s experiences?